Across Acrostics
by Deranged Cookie
Summary: A very bored Apollo curses everyone to write at least one acrostic. It can be about anyone, or anything.By the way, an acrostic is a poem in which each line starts with the beginning letter of a character's name. Beware of cranky gods, annoyed Demigods and slightly accurate stuff as well .
1. Prologue

**PROLOGUE**

Apollo was so freaking bored. Come on! He was supposed to be a god. They should be able to make random cool stuff appear out of thin air, but nooo Zeus had to make it illegal. So what if he controlled the air and no one else could! Well Aeolus does, but he's a bit insane… and he's only the lord of the air, not the god. If Apollo heard Zeus complaining one more time about how Aeolus wanted a promotion, he would personally make sure the sun burst and it was an early doomsday, to save Gaea some trouble.

_Apollo is bored,_

_But he will always be hot,_

_Haikus are no fun_

Now, what else could a bored god do….? He jumped up! Search Hermesnet for random poems of course! Tap- tap-tap went his recently manicured (and shiny) fingers. Seriously, it was taking forever for the sites to poop, he meant pop up. Even though he was the god of awesomeness, he still found chatspeak confusing. A tiny voice which suspiciously sounded like Athena's, whispered in his mind "_It's not chatspeak, its internet linguistics." _At last, a list of websites came up and Apollo's scorching gaze scanned them. Then a word caught his attention, "Ac- acr- acro- acros- acrostics."

Heh, what did that mean? He could barely even pronounce it. The sun god sadly lamented, that his mom hadn't sent him to a better preschool. Well, who cared, but he was the god of poetry. You think, he'd have known what it meant. Curious, he clicked the link. Another website boomed into existence.

"Welcome to the World of Acrostics! Hosted by your very own- Deranged Cookie!"

So this Deranged Cookie person had the nerve to create a new type of poetry without his permission! Huh, mortals these days… He scrolled down and read the word- "History".

"In 1599, the English poet Sir John Davies wrote an acrostic poem honoring Queen Elizabeth," he read aloud.

Okay, so well this mortal didn't invent this 'acrostic'. It seemed to be a hot, new trend though. And how could Apollo ignore a new trend? Or at least he would make it one. Now what was this thing anyway?

"A poem or series of lines in which certain letters, usually the first in each line, form a name, motto, or message when read in sequence. It's derived from the Greek word 'akrostikhis'," he mused.

Well that was good to know! Either way, haikus were soo last second ago! Officially, acrostics were in! He checked out a few sample acrostics, and soon he felt his poetical vibes ebb and flow…no that was blood right? Maybe he had to use the restroom…? He grabbed a pen and ran to the little boy's room on Olympus. Just as he relieved himself he grabbed some toilet paper and started writing.

"_A- Awesome, awesome, awesome,_

_P- Perfect, perfect, perfect,_

_O- Omnipotent, omnipotent, omnipotent, (yes he knows that word),_

_L- Lord, lord, lord,_

_L- Lucky, lucky, lucky,_

_O- Ossome with an 'O'!"_

Satisfied, he stretched his arms and relaxed, even though he was still in the bathroom. He went outside, reveling in his glorious new find. Now, to help it catch on. Haikus were a dud… he needed to enforce acrostics. All across humankind.

Summoning his most manly, curse voice he boomed,

"_All of you must write at least one acrostic,_

_I don't care even if you are dyslexic!_"

Leto would be so proud, he smirked.

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**Disclaimer**: I DON't OWN PJO! Well… I wish I did but still…. Anyway, you get the idea don't you little cookies?

**Author's Note**: Hello world/ fanfiction cookies/_people_. Please review, thank you. Bye.


	2. Hades

**A/N: Hello cookies! Here's the next chapter! Read and review!**

**Disclaimer: Do I look like I own- wait, you can't even see me. But if you could, I wouldn't look like Rick Riordan. *inside wink***

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**HADES**

Ordering the dead had its high points, but honestly, most of them were low.

" No, I refuse to pay spirit tax", grumbled the hippy lady in front of him.

"I refuse. You can not have my parents get into an accident, just to get $5000."

Hades groaned- when will these spirits, especially this clear sighted woman get a clue.

"Silence! I will not have you talk to me in this way!"

"Of course I will! What will you do, kill me?"

Just before he was going to order his skeletons to take the woman away, trumpets sounded, not Minos again... For a change, he was in for a surprise. It was Hermes, strolling in like he owned the place.

"You look happy to see me, your emo-ness."

"What do you want, messenger?" he spat.

" Apparently, Apollo's started himself a new fad. Everyone has to write an acoustic."

"Like the guitar?"

"No, like a poem."

Hermes rocked side to side, taking out his phone.

"Hades, do you have any rats?"

Not George again...

"Keep quiet George, don't you see Hermes and Hades are busy?", said Martha, the other snake, entangled with George.

"Shut up the two of you!" snapped Hermes, "Give the guy the letter."

"Fine! Don't be so pushy... I'm not sharing my rats with you people."

"They're gods George, give them the letter," interrupted Martha.

"Fine," George grumbled.

He wriggled a bit and a letter floated out of the phone and landed in Hades' hands.

"From: Demeter

To: Mr. Emo Daughter Stealer Hades"

He groaned. Well he had no choice but to open it.

"**H- **_Haughty, ha ha ha, but see his face when he has to go potty,(MUAHAHAHA)_

**A-**_Albino, not the dog, it's his skin, maybe if he eats cereal he won't be so thin,_

**D-**_Depressed, the dude doesn't have much to do, except torture a soul or two,_

**E-**_Emo, he's just like his son, sadly but the kid doesn't think Dad's number one,(BOOHOO!:( )_

**S-**_Sucker, he's always been tricked, he never realized that the picking of lots had been fixed,_"

"IT WAS FIXED?"

He let a bellow out to the artificial stars on the ceiling of his palace.

"ZEUS!"

Hermes in the meantime, had run away while he could.


	3. Percy

**A/N: Sorry for the delay! Please review! Presenting an acrostic! Please request which acrostics you'd like to see. I promise to do them all. Well… Only a promise though, not a pinky promise. *grave nod* :D**

**Disclaimer: I don't own PJO, or HoO. Sigh… If I did I would make Rick Riordan my personal author.**

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**PERCY**

"I am so totally kicking your butt if I don't get Mr. Owly-Owl back Percy!"

Seaweed Brain's legs kicked at the sand as a beat-up stuffed owl swung from his hands. A very angry(and secretly happy) Annabeth pushed him into the surf. Percy's green eyes glittered with malice.

She demanded, "How much did you pay the Stolls for this blackmail, huh?"

The seas-spawn sweetly replied, "Let's just say your coochy-poochy baby owl was saved from a tragic death in the toilet by me."

"Uh-huh, that's why your purse is missing twenty drachmas."

Shocked, Percy asked, "Wait… You looked in my- OH MY GODS you know I have a purse?"

He turned blue with embarrassment. Now it was Wise-Girl's turn to flash a devilish grin.

"Of course I do, now cough the owl up if you want _this_."

Annabeth held up an exclusive Hello Kitty Collector's purse.

"Now."

Sighing, Percy held it out, then smirked and BOOM! A wave knocked them apart. Annabeth was washed back ashore. Percy cackled. Suddenly something began to feel really wet in his hands. That shouldn't have been possible, but the owl had dissolved. Panic filled him. Annabeth would seriously have his hide, but then he saw a bottle in his hands. It was an old fashioned, type with a cork in his mouth. A thought pushed its way, through the kelp in his brain.

_So that was the hard, jangling noise coming from the owl. I thought it was just all the scrap metal Annabeth feeds this thing._

Oh well it looked like there was a piece of paper inside. Percy practically jumped up and down in excitement.

"Oh boy! Another plea for help!"

Though he hoped it wasn't for a quest over the ocean, like that scary Sea of Monsters. Although Clarisse had been the scariest thing there, but still. *shudder*

He unrolled the chit and found this inside, surprisingly in Greek:

**P-**_Powerful, though he may be, loyalty will always be his fatal enemy,_

**E- **_Energetic, in battle ADHD is his friend, but on the sea eternally, he will depend,_

**R-** _Rebellious_, _he'd already given Ares a taste of Riptide, but anything against Annabeth and Athena would have his hide,_

**C-**_Clumsy but cool, he's always a Seaweed Brain, even then he'd beat the Kanes,_

**Y- **_You think its Rick's writing that puts you in a daze, but its Percy's sarcasm leaves you amazed,_

-_By the ultimate fangirl, Lachesis of the Fates_

"So you tipped off the Stolls to give this to me! You made me pay for a poem which is about me?" Percy fumed.

"If this poem is by the Fates, how did you get it? And who the heck are Rick and these Kanes anyways?"

Annabeth smiled and waved Mr. Owly-Owl, the REAL Mr Owly -Owl and the Hello Kitty purse which she still had.


	4. Hazel

**A/n: Hello my fellow cookie-nauts! Can't tell you how much reviews motivate me! You guys keep me writing! So please r & r!**

**Silverhand9028- Thanks for the review! About Poseidon's and Athena, well I would make it different, but it's a good idea. You could see it soon!**

**The Writing Fedora- I like your name! We're both inanimate objects! I like ramblers and people who call me hilarious. Peace, love and cookies- Deranged Cookie**

**Euphiemialibritannia- Cool name- how do you say it? Your review was great! By the way, in this fanfic Apollo is a spoilt teenager. Designed after a friend of mine. XD No not really, it was based on a cookie. An Oreo cookie.**

**Disclaimer: I solemnly swear that I am up to no good, but I'm not impersonating Rick Riordan… who also happens to own PJO… You get the idea right? Good, here's a cookie, on second thought, NO GIVE IT BACK! IT'S MIIIIIINE! ….Even though Oreos aren't. D;**

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**HAZEL**

Elysium was Hazel's type of place, it was way better than the Fields of Asphodel. Her second lifetime now seemed like it was a lifetime ago literally. So there she was, sitting on the side of a sidewalk with Frank, having ice cream. It was the best ice cream ever, chocolate with lots of whipped cream and rainbow sprinkles on it… It was heaven, well… She was in heaven anyways.

"I can't believe the Giant War is over… It seemed like it was just yesterday my stick burnt though," Frank mused.

"Well _I _think that it's been forever since we've done anything useful," she replied.

Frank gave her an amused grin.

"Relax, everything's fine. I'm not lactose intolerant anymore, Nico hasn't tried to strangle me in weeks and besides that-"

"Ahem."

Hazel turned around. Speaking of the devil, here he was, Nico di Angelo.

"Uh anyway," Frank hastily continued, "I think someone's watching us."

"Ahem."

Nico poked Frank with a stick. Frank whirled around like an elephant hearing there was an unlimited buffet in the cafeteria.

"Hi," he mumbled.

Nico poked Frank again and Hazel burst out laughing.

"What?" they both said in unison.

"Nothing! Just…"

She uhhh… What do you call it? Yes there it is, she ROFL- ed.

"Nico… Your zi- I mean fly is…"

She couldn't control the tears now. There it was, in all its glory, through the gap she could see his undies, it was none other than Ms. Flower Power Barbie. Nico was actually wearing his Ms. Flower Power Barbie undies she got him for his birthday! She looked different though… Like someone had drawn skull earrings and blush on her with a red marker. She gestured loosely to… She burst out laughing again.

Nico looked down and turned completely red. Frank smirked, triumphant.

"My magic voodoo powers work! You wore it!" he grinned.

Nico turned pale now, completely pale. He gripped the stick in his hand like it was _his _lifeline.

"Excuse me!"

He dashed off, as fast as a 14 year old boy with a semi wedgie could.

A few minutes later he was back, trying to look poised and… That description just made Hazel giggle.

"Well so you might be wondering why I came here," Nico began.

"No more of when you're leaving," Frank cut in.

He gave Nico an inside look and a wink, something Hazel thought she wasn't privy of.

"Well anyway… Remember that old curse thing Apollo did?"

"The one about the poetry?" she asked.

"Yep. That's the one," Nico nodded.

He reached into his aviator's jacket and pulled a crumpled piece of paper out. He pushed it into her face.

"Here. I was long overdue apparently… Or maybe Persephone made Apollo demand me to make one or something…"

She opened it up and saw words written in spindly Latin handwriting. She raised up an eyebrow and started reading.

"_H- Humble, honest and hopeful, she's as sweet as a bee, Asphodel is not the place for her to be,_

_A- Anew, she gave it another try, a new life, a new time,_

_Z- Zealous, she's always added zest, to each and every single quest,_

_E-Earthly and exquisite, she can find treasure wherever she goes, maybe if she was here, she_

_could find some in this prose,_

_L-Likable, never judge a book by its cover, because in these pages a good friend you will_

_discover,_"

She smiled at Nico and fanned herself slightly.

"So…?" she prompted.

"I didn't want to write one on… Well never mind, so I thought that I make one for you."

She squeezed his hand.

"Thanks a lot Nico, but you have never been on a quest with me have you? I've only been on 3 quests after all. The one in which we were together was to save you after all."

"I helped! " Frank piped in.

She looked at him wryly.  
"Well, yes he did… and it's also your birthday," Nico smiled nervously.

"No wonder! So you wore those undies for me because it's my birthday, didn't you?" she exclaimed.

Nico shifted from side to side uncomfortably.

"Uh yeah! That is soo totally the reason I did that! It wasn't because I have a Barbie obsession since Persephone cursed me! No! Not at all! I'm a macho super demigod!"

"Dude, learn how to lie," Frank snorted.

Nico poked him with the stick again.


	5. Zeus

**A/N: All right cookie-bots, ready for your next acrostic? Here we go! **

**Disclaimer: Although I do wish I could bribe a certain author with brainwashing cookies into thinking I own PJO and HoO, that's sadly impossible. So yes, all credits for making these awesome series go to RR. I don't own Are you Smarter than a Fifth Grader or Pizza Hut either.**

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**ZEUS:**

"Hey! Gimme the remote, lady!" squealed a certain all-important king of the gods, our favorite- ZEUS! Yes, he ought to make Hephaestus run a special commercial on his channel, proclaiming the chivalrous feats of Zeus and the benefits of molten cheese baths.

For now, though, the task at hand was to try and win this argument with his annoying sister- no wife. Hera waggled her overgrown eyebrows and shook her finger disapprovingly, the other hand snatching away his remote.

"No more TV till I get back from shopping, or you could always come with me. I'm going to the _electronics store_, you know!" Hera bartered.

The god of the sky folded his arms and pouted grumpily. Here was his own wife, depriving him of the one essential need of all beings, mortal or divine- reality programming. Anyways, the electronics shop wasn't anywhere near enough exciting to tempt into going shopping with Hera.

"B-bu-but the next season of Are You Smarter than a Fifth Grader is premiering in five minutes!" he whined.

"As if you're any smarter than a five year old, Zeus. Apollo just gave me the results of your recent health check up. It looks like you've been spending all your divine powers diverting satellite signals towards you and spreading your consciousness to watch multiple TV shows at once. That good-for-nothing-but-lecturing daughter of yours, Athena, should lend you some of the wisdom she claims to have."

Hera stormed, no stomped out of the place (no one had the right to storm except Zeus.)

Zeus muttered under his breath, "Some goddess of marriage- how can the queen of the heavens want all the TVs or her palace to be trashed except one? Plus, my favorite show just has to be her most hated one, doesn't it? _And_ she took the remote with her too! It's too hard to figure out how to operate it manually, and I'd need Hephaestus' permission to conjure a new remote…so, aha! The computer! Only a genius could have thought of using a PC to dispel boredom."

Zeus pranced away in a quickly unraveling toga to his computer. Turning it on with a quick zap, he began to type in the password to his email slowly, one key at a time.

Soon, theonenonlyzeus hermmail . god popped up. Too bad the username 'ZEUS!' was already taken… The icon for new mail flashed.

The lord of the skies clicked on a mail titled "To my dearest hubby-wubby Zeussy-kins. "

Zeus happily clicked on the mail which could only be from Hera, hoping it had printable coupons for Pizza Hut attached. Here's what he got instead:

**Z-** _Zany: Get on his nerves if you want your nerves electrocuted,_

**E-** _Egoistic: for being moody our modest King is reputed._

**U-** _Undiplomatic: Dare you say Olympus should have polls,_

**S-** _Bushy eyebrows, thunder and lightning, that's why we all_

_Olympians sing, Zeus-sy is our king!_

-By, the Olympians (led by Hera and Apollo)

At the family reunion later, the Olympians only had to beat up Apollo. Hera had been taken care of. And boy, had she been taken care of well…

Zeus grinned as his wife came in with a bowl of nectar 'n' cheese popcorn. She looked really happy, a plastic-y stretch of pearly whites stretching across her features. And why shouldn't she be super-excited? After all, she _was_ getting the golden opportunity to relax and do nothing. Hera plopped down as Zeus started to play the first episode of 'Are you Smarter than a Fifth Grader?'Great. Only three more seasons left to see, nonstop. Hera mentally longed for Hephaestus' mechanical chair.


	6. Annabeth & Poseidon

**A/N: **Here I am! Back with a mega episode to apologize for my huuuuuuge vacation. This is especially for all of you cookies who love Poseidon/Athena burns. Special cookies for Silverhand9028. Thanks for all of the reviews! Please review as much as you can! Also, I like the Kanes too you know. xD

**Disclaimer: **As you can see I don't own HoO or PJO because they aren't this crazy in the real- I mean book world. Thankfully, I also do not own Mary-Sue. Thank the gods. I don't own Spiderman or the Itsy-Bitsy Spider either. Yeah, I think that covers it all. Now onto to the acrostic!

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**Annabeth/Poseidon:**

The zoo guide tilted her face to one side and flashed a toothy grin at Annabeth. Returning more of a grimace to the worker, her attention was captured by the flashing cursive, yellow letters across her uniform, which her dyslexic brain could oddly read with ease: **Hi! I'm Grady. How can I help you today? **

'Wait," Annabeth thought, _"flashing_ letters on a uniform?"

The trademark logical thought was pushed aside by a more demanding one instantly. _Help. _

Annabeth started, "Could you please tell me where-", and had to jerk back as the woman's shiny red nails suddenly gripped her in a vise-like grip and started to march her to the left, saying, "I know, _dear, _you're looking for the rest of your class, they're right, oh no, left this way."

Grady chuckled at her own lame pun. Wriggling her way out of the over-enthusiastic weirdo's grasp, she put one hand on her dagger pocket (you never knew even in a dream if her eagerness came from the fact that Annabeth was a demigod, affectionately also known as a monster snack).

The girl followed Grady and a few feet away, it looked like an exhibit had sprung out of mist. With or without a capital 'M', Annabeth wasn't sure though.

Sure enough, her bored class stood right there.

Smiling her thanks at the creepy guide, she joined her friends. Mary Sue grumbled, "Where have you been? Though I _do _suppose it was lucky you got to miss most of the gross creepy-crawly exhibits. This one is comparatively better by far."

She pressed her face against the glass, and rolling her eyes at her friend's squeamishness, the daughter of Athena asked, "Why, what makes this one better? Does it have cute 'n' cuddly…sp-SPIDERS! AHHHH! Oh m-my freaking g-gods! Get me OUT of here. Now! "

The corners of her vision were filled with the display case so full of hairy legs and bits and webs and other disgusting spidey parts. She squeezed her eyes shut but the air was rent with laughter and Annabeth could only hyperventilate and struggle as the huge face of her biology teacher Mr. Kreature loomed above her. His voice seemed to echo up from a well, incoherent and malicious.

Immediately, it occurred to the tiny surviving rational bit of her that she could still see him with her eyes closed. Well, like many things in her crazy world, this made absolutely no sense. So, calming down a bit, she pulled out her dagger, ready to stab anyone and any eight-legged thing near her: except for the fact that there was a huge spider sitting right on its tip.

Shrieking, she dropped it and looked around accusingly at the tight band of laughing people who seemed to have visited Crusty's Waterbed Emporium and become at least three feet taller in the last ten seconds.

She screamed, "Who the heck had the nerve to put a spider in my pocket and why are we still here?"

Mr. Kreature stepped forward, his large nose looking more like a diseased fungus than ever.

He smirked and pointed at her, "It seems to me that our friend Annabeth has a phobia. Anna-beth haas a pho-biaa! Anna-beth haas a pho-biaa! ", he teased.

The whole class and a bunch of other people joined in and pointed and giggled at her. A boy with sea-swept black hair and green eyes stepped up, with a tall teenager with sandy hair and blue, blue eyes.

After nearly five hours of sheer torture or so it seemed to Annabeth with them shoving her closer and closer to the glass cases full of spiders, which seemed to have multiplied, Mr. Kreature bellowed, "Silence!"

"When our friends have a problem, what do good children do?" All the people, not just the class, even the ancient janitor standing by chorused, "Sir, we h-elp!"

"Looks like Annabeth needs to get more _comfortable _with these beautiful arachnids, eh? What better way than to do it than sing our nursery school favorite- Itsy-Bitsy Spider!"

And Annabeth watched with equal parts horror, embarrassment and crazed amusement as the crowd chanted every line of her dreaded nursery rhyme twice. They even did all the hand actions and turned around and fell to the commands of Mr. Kreature.

Her ears rang with pain and she cringed, but slowly, the fear wore off even though she still had full view of the spider case. By the time Percy had chanted the poem thrice while doing a slow Hokey- Pokey, she was in splits.

As she wiped off her tears of mirth, it was like someone had erased the whole scene. Annabeth realized it was herself. That could only mean…and then she barely had time to think as another person's laughs rang through the white emptiness.

Thalia materialized out of nowhere. The chief Lieutenant of Artemis was doubled up, her electrifying eyes crinkled. Thalia's tiara was dangling off one side of her head, and as she straightened up, she looked at Annabeth with a guilty smile.

"Wonder who's got some serious explanation for invading my dream consciously and maybe even _manipulating_ it! Thalia, I am seriously killing you right NOW if you saw any of that-", Annabeth was interrupted for the second time that day, or should she say, dream.

"Hold your pegasi, Wise Girl! I admit, I _did_ see most of that-"

"That's it; it's your last dreaming day on Earth-"

"I didn't only see it; I caused some of it too."

There was a momentary loss of hearing on the part of Thalia Grace as her best friend's vocal chords exploded and the connection between their minds was nearly blown apart as waves of anger and mostly embarrassment surged across it.

When the volcano that was Annabeth had relatively calmed down and only radioactive steam was blowing out of her ears, Thalia interjected, "Um, at least you laughed it off in the end?"

"Mmh-hmm missy, I'm never ever going to talk to you again, you've got a lot of explaining to do, you can kiss my chocolate chip cookies goodbye forever and you HAVE to teach that to me so I can do the same thing to Percy too."

The two girls burst out laughing again and Thalia said, "You know, I only learned how to do this today: Handy trick from one of my huntresses Somna, daughter of Morpheus."

"Yeah, so you figured 'I better go show this off to Annabeth ASAP.'", Annabeth intoned.

Thalia considered it for a moment then she said, "Nah. Actually yeah, showing it off was definitely one motive, but I wanted to show you a couple of things. You dream in incredible detail. Don't you ever give a rest to that big head of yours? And oh yeah, the whole spider exhibit was not my idea- that came from your brilliant, scaredy-cat brain, but the Itsy-Bitsy spider thing was. 'Coz you know like when I entered your dream invisible, it was going on and I thought the chanting would make you laugh so I manipulated it a bit."

Annabeth relaxed, "And now I must quote Shakespeare like the nerd I am: All nightmares' well that ends well."

Thalia grinned. Crossing her arms, Annabeth said," So…Thalia...I'm lucid dreaming currently, right?" Zeus's daughter nodded.

She continued, "Ah…so now I'm in control, I see. Well, I must extend the hospitality of my brain to my guest, Miss Grace. _Welcome._"

As soon as Annabeth said the last words, the section of floor beneath Thalia's feet broke free and shot up like a cork from a champagne bottle, a hundred feet above.

It was Thalia's turn to scream.

Wise Girl cackled and reveled in her revenge, but as soon as Thalia started screaming her apologies, she let her come back down.

Shaking and pale, she stuttered, "Geez Annabeth, you sure know how to get back, don't you? Glad I'm not your enemy. Anyways, here's the real reason I was here for."

With a slight static shock, Annabeth took a piece of paper from Thalia. Here's what it said:

**A- **_Astute: You know she's THE Wise Girl, right?_

**N-**_Naughty: She ticks off gods as well as she fights (Hi, Hera!)_

**N-**_Noble: Turning monsters to dust and rocking other heroic acts,_

**A-**_Architect: She redesigned Mt. Olympus, that's a fact._

**B-**_Bold: She's gone knife to sword with Kronos,_

**E-**_Exceptional: Perilous quests saved on brains alone._

**T-**_Tactful: Brainstorming to save Percy's butt from death,_

**H-**_Hubris may flaw her, but would YOU like a perfect Annabeth?_

_-Thalia Grace_

Annabeth just held the chit for a few moments then her gray eyes sparkled into the electric blue ones.

A smile lit up the two faces at the same second, and Annabeth said, "Cheesy camera moment, check."

Thalia shoved her hands into her pocket and mumbled, "Well, it was a try, I guess." The other girl patted her arm and said, "No really Thalia, this is really awesome! It describes me perfectly; you really do know me well. Looks like you've actually gotten your hands on books these days huh? I'm pretty sure you used spell-check though, eh? Thanks a lot, Thalia; this is the best thing anyone has written about me, with all my flaws."

Thalia blinked, and nodded happily. "Well, I'm just going to consider it a great literary achievement since it's the first acrostic someone actually liked so far. And that too, praise coming from the oh-so-hard-to-please-kid-of-Athena."

"Oh please. So, you were going to show me something else?" Annabeth continued. Thalia brightened up and said, "Oh yeah, you won't believe it. It's this freaking cool viral brain video. Wait, let me just load it…oh and by the way, I've left a hard copy of your acrostic under your pillow. It's got a surprise behind it. So meet Percy and me on 7th Avenue "tomorrow, okay?" Before Annabeth could open her mouth, Thalia's video had started.

"Cue lights- backgrounds and paction! Oops, action! Blooper, curse you slimy tongue-tied tongue which is mine!"

Then it started. Slow at first, then faster(and louder too, did he mention that?) There it was! Chest drumming time!

"DUNDUNADUN DUUUUUUUUUUUN!" he sang, surprisingly off key.

He started to dance, feeling the music ebb and flow, and liquid too. The warmth turned into energy- bathroom energy!

"It's DANNNNNG- EROUS!"

The music was loud, not as loud as his singing though. The disco was on, the colourful neon lights refracting through the water of his private dance room.

He did the Macarena and shook his wonderful bum-bum twice! Not just once. He was a male Shakira! There it came- the freaking cool beat he was waiting for!

The moonwalk, well actually the waterwalk. He pedaled and walked. And pedaled and walked. He bobbed his head up and down even more. Moving his head in a circle(a circle you idiots! The same shape of a blowfish! Like Paul's stomach!)

Michael Jackson hit the note again.

"It's dangerous!"

He had to do it! It couldn't go any other way!

With a BAM he tore off his shirt. Leaving the world to see his spectacular body.

He discoed, he shimmed he did a one person salsa- all with his stomach jiggling with him.

There he was dancing with his belly flab wiggling to the beat. He was unbeatable- he was Poseidon.

With the renewed onset of the chorus he scuba-dived, then did the luau dance. He stopped doing that soon enough; even he knew it didn't suit the song. His stomach rumbled, he howled and did the manliest thing possible. Right at that time.

"It's dangerous!" Michael Jackson crooned.

Poseidon farted.

"Ooooooh! Sizzzzzz!"

With a scandalous finger on his mouth, he then traced his *cough* abs and waved goodbye.

He did a mini belly dance, fan service for the ladies of course, then with feminine grace he struck a pose.

The imaginary crowd he imagined watching him was not worthy. Maybe he would dance to Moves Like Jagger . The crooning and jiggling he could do with that song!

Suddenly she started moving away from the scene. Her spirit left his body and everything faded into…grey?

Annabeth returned back to her mind with a blast. The two girls burst out laughing at the same time. For five minutes straight, nobody had to say anything. Well they couldn't because they were laughing so much. At last, Annabeth wiped off her tears of mirth and cackled, "My mom is the most amazing mind-hacker in the universe!"

Thalia nodded, a maniacal gleam in her eyes. "I know! It was the only thing everyone who's anyone was talking about on Godtube. You should see the one about Ze-" She cut off suddenly as thunder roared in the background. "As I was saying I'll see you-"

Everything went grey again, but this time it looked a bit more like static.

Annabeth's eyes flew open. She had to suppress the urge to laugh at the memory of the video. Her siblings already thought she was a bit cuckoo. She looked around for the hard copy of the acrostic, which would be ah-hah! Under her pillow. Before she could look for her "surprise", peals of laughter rang out through the air.

She went outside to see what everyone was laughing at and nearly ran into a boy crouched on the steps racking with- were those sobs? Annabeth smirked with equal parts pity and glee as Percy moaned, "First my man purse now this! Nooooooooo!"

She looked up expectantly and there it was- just she knew it would be the viral brain video, iris message style. It even had an owl border. There was more to it though. The moment he finished dancing, the scene changed. Poseidon, the regular macho one, was sobbing in his pristine palace's office, strangely identically to his seaweed brain of a son. A paparazzi fish in the background went "glub" with delight, as it struggled to write down what was written in the air on a piece of paper, using a pen twice its size.

A glow could be seen in front of Poseidon, the camera swiveled to focus on gleaming silver letters- embossed with a neon yellow glow, a certain amazing wisdom goddess's signature style. Annabeth nearly glowed with pride herself. There the words were, brilliant in all their sarcastically wry, witty glory.

"  
_**P- **__Prissy Poseidon playing with his Barbie Mermadia dolls, he's not such a Mr. Macho after all;_

_**O-**__ Obnoxious to the point of idiocy, he'd eat a shark just to annoy me;_

_**S-**__ Sober servant of Zeus- yes I know how much that will annoy his caboose;_

_**E- **__Elegant like an elephant, go buy him some cologne to cover up his gassy scent;_

_**I-**__ Ignorant imbeciles worship him, his brain is filled with slime to the brim;_

_**D- **__Diseased fish and him fill the sea, their 'hi-fi' deludedly diluted brains can't be cured by Mr. D;_

_**O-**__ Overrated- that's what Percy's POV was like, Rick should've seriously given Annabeth the mike;_

_**N-**__ Noble prizes will never come his way, but I'm sure this poem will ruin his day!_

"

Poseidon scrunched up his face and balled his fists in fury. Pun unintended. Bubbles issued in hordes from him. From the front of course, not from the bu-back! What kind of sick minds does this audience have?

A new stream of words entered the room, filled with a magnificent air or water, of a gloating goddess. This time with sound effects and a voiceover.

"

_So are you one of the lucky five thousand people who didn't understand half of the brilliant poetry of the smartest being in the world? Especially if this poem was meant for YOU! Then have no fear because Athena's Sophisticated Guide to the Unsophisticated Idiot presents: ASGtUI: Episode 2, Poetry for Morons. _

_TING!-Hey! Where's the ting? I asked for the ting to be ready- oh never mind. May owl excreta decorate your food for forever more!_

_Anyway, here it is!_

_1. Caboose: A much worthy word for those of us who like to pass bathroom jokes with class. For lack of better words, it means- butt, boom- boom, buttocks, you must know the rest of the synonyms yourself._

_2. Deludedly Diluted- I used a clever use of adverbs, adjectives and alliteration(no I am not explaining to you what that means) to refer to the watery life under the sea. You know- concentrated, diluted- the works. In fact-_

"

At that point there was a bellow of outrage. An angry Kelphead slashed Riptide through the Iris Message, probably trying to salvage the little remains of his manly reputation.

This was met with choruses of "Awwwww!", "Oh man, why did he have to go and do that!" and even the occasional "Sweet! I'm taking pranking lessons from Athena!"

Annabeth watched Percy stomp away to his cabin. She would have to deal with him later, maybe when her duty as a best friend calls. She quietly slipped away, back into her cabin.

As Annabeth smiled down at her acrostic she turned it over. Her grin slid down her face and sank into her shoes, as the tickets for the movie "Spiderman 3" glared up at her, the caption "See the all new Spidey action in 3D! This is a Platinum class ticket!"

Annabeth drew a calm breath and composed herself. She even dusted herself off and sat down on her bed. Then she lifted her face to the heavens and.

Screamed.

"THALIAAAAAA!"


End file.
